Warning Label: what follows is dangerous knowledge.

Yes, Self Realization must come first in your life, if you want to be permanently happy, at peace, and get off the rollercoaster of up and downs, "karma" and suffering.

But what the hell is it?

Let me be clear: there's no such thing as enlightenment or self realization for a person, for a bodymind. The (personal or self with a small "s") "I" will never, and cannot possibly be, enlightened or awakened or liberated.

This hit me one morning: "I", this bodymind, will never become enlightened, and cannot: it's impossible. And furthermore, neither can any other person.

And this is what most people that get into the spiritual game want, once they learn more about meditation, yoga,  that whole world, that crazy game. It becomes a goal, a dream, an ambition even, something sought for themselves as an "I want to be liberated, free, awakened, enlightened..." Yoga and mediation or the self help world, or the New Age circuit are the gateway drugs.  Eastern religions, Zen, Buddhism... then for the hard core junkies, nonduality, Advaita, and week long retreats, intensives, seminars, talks, teachers, gurus, practices, books, discussion, online forums...

When people are struck by lightning when they see "their master", or guru or teacher, it's a projection of the mind.

I don't care what your experience is of your guru or master or teacher, or what happened to you. Experiences come and go, and you will come and go too. You and the world will disappear, just as it does every night in sleep.

First of all, the person never existed, so how can an illusion become enlightened? The person, the "I" was a figment of thinking, of imagination, a story told by an idiot. Persons, humans, do not actually exist. Strange to say. You are not human. You only see other humans, other persons, because you believe yourself to be one. The world only appears according to your belief. The body mind and world arise all at once, every moment. When there is thinking, there is time, space, a body and world.

There is no becoming. There's nothing happening. Enlightenment is what Is, is what you are, beyond name and form, eternal and timeless. Time and space are illusions of the mind.

But what about these beings, these teachers and gurus who are radiating love, who say wise and incredible things, and can tell what's going on in you?

What happens, or appears to happen, is that in this mortal dream, some begins are instruments. That's all this body is, an instrument for celebration and broadcasting, and a tool to discover and uncover and realize that one is not a body. Who discovers this? Not a person, not a mind, but the mind is used to undo itself.

But the mind, the ego, does not want it's own demise, it's all about survival. The small self cannot get out of itself.

All the spiritual stuff is almost all just stories for children as it were. A spiritual bone to chew on. The broadcasters of reality have to say something to answer the questions.

 

One of the central paradoxes of self-realization is there is nothing you can do, it's always and only an act of grace, since the ego will not let go willingly. And yet, one needs to act as if there is something you can do (such as meditation) until one gets to that point, seemingly preparing oneself. There is no way of resolving this paradox from the mind, because the mind is a limited, entity, a temporary illusion, like apparent movements in a mirage, wanting to see into infinity. No matter how advanced human knowledge becomes, this paradox will never be resolved, because it's inherent in the situation of being apparently human. And human knowledge is, well, human.